1. |
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If I knew last year what I know now,
I wouldn't have put myself through hell.
To wind up standing in a mess of everything.
I tried my best to make this work.
I put you first and the only thing I watched you do was bury me in dirt.
I had my selfish reasons for leaving you behind.
I'm picking up my feet and I will find a better life.
One where I'm not sick of fucking fighting all the time.
One where I'm not scared to say what's really on my mind.
As I collapse, don't put me back.
I can't sleep and I get dizzy when I stand up on my feet.
I lay in bed, just like I'm dead.
As you weep and complain about my lack of energy.
I had my selfish reasons.
As you dig your hole I thought I'd let you know,
I'm not coming back.
I'm tethered to the way things used to be.
If I don't get some sleep my thoughts may start to seem unclear to me.
Non-cognitively conscious so it seems.
credits
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2. |
Monachopsis
03:50
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I'm losing track of where I stand. I used to have the upper hand. Now I'm distant I'm not persistent. Lacking motives and a plan. To find out something. If gods above me and if he could understand. I'm starting to fade the world is so gray. I'll count my blessings and call it a day.
If I could find myself amongst everyone else. Would I be any different. I could tell myself that I don't have to listen but where is the point in not being consistent. A stable companion just someone to listen. Please tell me you listen. I'm holding all this doubt about myself to give me something I can talk about.
I started writing when I was young the words replaced the use of my tongue. I don't like to talk much, found only comfort in the songs. But now I've got the recognition. Still avoiding confrontation. Always running late always out of place I, I can't relate.
I'm getting over all these things that you said would last forever. God if you're there give me a sign cause I'm starting to lose my faith. You left me all alone to find my way back home, but I think I'm finally moving on. I'm moving on alone.
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3. |
When You Had Nothing
03:57
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Who are you to say that I didn't try? I tried my whole damn life to find a better way to hide behind it.
If you wanna see selfish, I could walk out now and leave you so damn helpless. I don't expect to be perfect, but I've been trying my best. so maybe someday this will all be worth it, but I'm nervous. It's getting late, I've got to find a better place that I can roam. I'm not going home. There's not a place it feels that I can get along.
Could it be that I'm the only one who sees it this way. I believe that everyone was meant to create something.
Who am I to say that you didn't try? You tried your whole damn life to find a better way to hide behind it. Well maybe you're torn up inside but isn't that apart of life. We all just need reminded sometimes.
When you had nothing. You still tried to help me.
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