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Better Half (The Worst Part)

from Forever Is Irrelevant by The Weekend Classic

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lyrics

I know my house isn't big or extravagant, but I swore to you that I'd share the better half of it.
Our house is not a home unless your heart can embellish it.
Forever is irrelevant when it's said just for the hell of it so...
While you're out bettering yourself in bed, you can find me in mine pretending I'm dead.
Replaying all the broken promises and how you felt...but that's better left unsaid.

I'm as much a wreck as you pretend to be.
Maybe I'll come back...Lately, I've been sitting up every night for just one call that never seems to get through. It's not your fault, you can't help that I loved you.

And the worst part of it is, it's getting harder to admit that my feelings haven't changed (not in the slightest) no, not one bit.
And the pressure has been building, first, it's calm but then a storm of the feelings that I bury and my health that I ignore.
But the way my lungs collapse under the swell of all the smoke reveals the self-defeating honesty that I'm scared to be alone.

I've been losing my grip from overplaying happiness as something I deserve, as something that I've earned, but I won't sit myself aside, collecting dust on the shelf, because the fact that I'm alive is my purpose in itself.

And the worst part of it is, it's getting harder to admit that my feelings haven't changed (not in the slightest) no, not one bit.
And the pressure has been building, first, it's calm but then a storm of the feelings that I bury and my health that I ignore.
But the way my lungs collapse under the swell of all the smoke reveals the self-defeating honesty that I'm scared to be alone.

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from Forever Is Irrelevant, released March 25, 2016

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