If I knew last year what I know now,
I wouldn't have put myself through hell.
To wind up standing in a mess of everything.
I tried my best to make this work.
I put you first and the only thing I watched you do was bury me in dirt.
I had my selfish reasons for leaving you behind.
I'm picking up my feet and I will find a better life.
One where I'm not sick of fucking fighting all the time.
One where I'm not scared to say what's really on my mind.
As I collapse, don't put me back.
I can't sleep and I get dizzy when I stand up on my feet.
I lay in bed, just like I'm dead.
As you weep and complain about my lack of energy.
I had my selfish reasons.
As you dig your hole I thought I'd let you know,
I'm not coming back.
I'm tethered to the way things used to be.
If I don't get some sleep my thoughts may start to seem unclear to me.
Non-cognitively conscious so it seems.
released July 15, 2016
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